Focus on the negative things in life

I’m sure you’ve heard people say that you shouldn’t focus too much on the negative things in life, but rather that you should focus on the positive things instead. Instead of looking at the negative side of things, they say, you should look at the positive side and try to appreciate that. Perhaps you are also someone who shares the same opinion. I however have a different opinion: We should focus on the negative things instead. And I’ll explain why.
Focusing on the positive things in life seems to be human nature. When I see people doing this, I don’t blame them at all. In fact, I can very much understand why they do this. Imagine if you didn’t focus on all those small positive things in life, where would you get the inspiration and energy to keep on living? Life is so full of problems and it’s not easy to be happy and optimistic. In fact, it is quite impossible to be happy in life when you realize certain things and when you want to be really honest to yourself.
So this just makes the need even bigger for people to focus on the positive things. Even if those positive things sometimes don’t exist, they try to make them up instead. Religion is a perfect example of this. It serves to give people something positive to think about in life, something to hold onto, something to give them hope for the future, something to give their lives a purpose, something to explain the unknown to them to make them feel like they are in control and know what’s going on. Imagine if there were no religions, how would most people think of life? How would most people be able to live life without the comfort that religion offers them?
Another example is death. For as long as humans exist, they have been trying to put a positive spin around death. Religion has also been a great help in doing this. Death is another case where people have tried to make things up around it to make it look like something positive. “Yes, it sucks to die, but look at the bright side, you’re going to heaven!” Nobody is fooling me with this. Death is something negative. Nothing can explain that away. I’ll never accept it “as a normal part of life.” The sooner people stop fooling themselves and believing in all kinds of explanations for it, the sooner we’ll be more effective at looking for ways to solve this problem.
When something bad happens, or someone struggles with bad results or outcomes, people always say “Well I know it sucks, but look at the bright side…”, or, “It could have been worse, look at the positive side…” etc. That just serves as comfort. It serves to take our eyes away from the problem and to have us focus on something positive. It serves to make us think good about the situation or about ourselves. It serves to fool us.
We shouldn’t focus on the positive things so much. Instead, we should focus a lot more on the negative things in life. Why? It’s quite simple: Because those are the things that require our attention. We want to get better, don’t we? The positive things are already good and probably more or less where we want them to be. We should use our energy to get the negative things where we want them to be. It is unproductive and not of much use to keep ourselves occupied with the positive things in life and allow ourselves to be blinded by those things. It just serves to paralyze us to some extent to address the real issues. The problem is that people willfully do this most of the time. People would rather fool themselves to feel good, instead of facing the problems.
I see it happening around me every day. And what this does is limit the speed at which things can get better in life. Afterall, as long as people keep focusing too much on the positive things, they don’t sufficiently realize the need and urgency to take on solving or improving the negative things. And this isn’t just about improving life in the broad sense, but it starts at home, at the workplace, on a personal level. Sometimes I see people putting too much emphasis on the things they have achieved so far and what they currently have, instead of putting the most emphasis on what they have not (yet) achieved and what they don’t (yet) have. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t give yourself a pat on the back when you achieve something, but you shouldn’t be blinded by it. Give yourself a pat on the back for a few minutes and then forget about it and see the things you haven’t yet achieved or the problems that still exist and do something about them.
The important thing is that you have to know what you want in life or in a given situation. And if you don’t have it yet, do everything you possibly can to get it. Don’t be afraid to admit to yourself that there are things you’ve lost or don’t yet have, but really want. Especially don’t do this to make yourself feel like you have (achieved) everything you want in order to feel happy about it. Don’t look at what you DO have and try to think about that in a positive way. It doesn’t benefit you in any real way, other than to give you comfort, and to try to make you feel satisfied.
Don’t fool yourself. Know what’s missing, what could be better and what’s wrong, and focus on those things! It will only make you a better person. Be honest to yourself and be realistic about your expectations.

You have the right to Vote

As a responsible citizen of this country, I have to use my valuable voting right, which is only a dream for one fourth of the people of this world..

So i think i must use this insignia for a prosperous India where we can live with peace, no discrimination,and offering social justice to all.(i know its a wildest dream..but still)

A few thoughts on what it means to be a voter and having your say in selecting the future leaders of this country..

The basic question.. Am I really going to vote? ..

Yes...i must be..

The present political situation in Kerala is predictable as ever. but by choosing the young blood and veterans LDF has a dominant role in the war field.. . For a young generation voter like me what does this really mean. ???.

Some people saying that the political happenings in Kerala would always make a great movie script..probably it could go on to become a blockbuster..There is enough amount of violence, comedy, conspiracy, tragedy, heated dialogues and as always, some unexpected twists and turns may i ask a question to such people???

As a responsible Indian citizen Do you fulfil your duties to your country?

Do you have any kind of commitment to our country???

No right?????????????

We always blame our judiciary,bureaucracy and other government establishments for their inefficiency ,redtapism etc etc..

when we criticising our country ,we deliberately ignore one thing....

with this same government mechanism we bcm the fastest growing country of the world....

by this same out dated judiciary we can make sure social justice in our country..

by this same corrupted bureaucracy we can spend millions of rupees for our dream projects

so please think a while.......

before you criticise our country and our establishments..

So the basic question still remains unanswered..

How many of us can select a right candidate?

i thnk we need to give preference to young blood

so think a while....

who given priority to our youngsters???

only LDF right?????????

So for a Smart kerala

for a secular kerala

use your insignia

and elect LDF candidates

and be a part of LDF triumph.....

Learn Something from anyone

lot of people seem to admit to the fact that you can learn something from anyone. But in my case, i don’t behave accordingly. It is nice to admit to this fact, but do you also realize what it really means and what it takes to be able to learn from anyone? It seems that a lot of people don’t know this(including me).
To be able to learn something from anyone or anything means that you first have to be open to alternative information and possibilities. You can’t pretend that you already know everything about a subject or situation. You can’t simply brush off opinions or information coming from someone without making sure that you’ve carefully looked at it. You will have to open yourself up to all of the information coming towards you, look at it and carefully evaluate it against anything you think you know about the subject.
And this is not an easy thing to do because often it can take a lot of time. And apart from time and willingness to be open to the information, there are other difficulties as well. One of them is objectivity. It is not easy to be objective when you consider alternative information. And this can be because of various reasons. One of them is that looking at alternative information could mean that you can come to the conclusion that the information is correct, and that what you knew is wrong and that you will have to admit to this. And people don’t like to admit that they are wrong(Me too(. If it was in a discussion or argument, it would mean losing the discussion or argument. And people don’t like this. There is ofcourse nothing wrong with not liking it, but you should not take the wrong decision because of that, namely lying and refusing to admit that you are wrong.
Another reason is that people may have certain prejudice towards something or someone. For example, they may hear someone who is considered to be a bad person, or someone they just don’t like, talk about something and without giving it some more thought, just automatically dismiss everything that person may have to say. Which ofcourse is a foolish thing to do, because that person, even if it is just for once, might be saying something good. Or they may think that the person giving their opinion on something can’t possibly be taken seriously because he has no experience, is too young, doesn’t have a degree in the subject, etc. In such a case, a teacher would never be able to learn from his students, and one could say that Hitler never did anything that we might positively learn from. Anyone has good and bad qualities, and anyone can be right or wrong. Nobody is perfect. The skill is the ability to be able to honestly identify the good things in a person, learn from those things and use them to your advantage.
Another reason can also be that when people would have to admit that alternative information is correct, this means that they would have to accept it, which could have an impact on a lot of other things that may affect their worldview and their lives. The implications can be so outrageous compared to what they are used to, or it can cause so many inconveniences, that their mind simply closes up to the possibilities the alternative information suggests, and as a result they can’t objectively evaluate it. In such a case it is much more convenient to just dismiss the information, pretend it doesn’t exist or simply deny that it is correct.
And there can be many other reasons still. I think that one of the most important things you can learn to do in life, is to be able to objectively evaluate an opinion, or information in general and once you’ve reached a conclusion, honestly act upon it. I don’t think I can ever completely describe the huge benefits that this gives you. Once you are able to do this, you can identify and take the good things around you from anything and anyone, learn from them and use them to your advantage (this includes finding out that you were wrong), while you eliminate or improve the bad things. It only makes you a better, smarter and stronger person.
For example, there may be someone you really don’t like. Perhaps you even hate that person. To be able to objectively evaluate something this person says that is contrary to your beliefs, and to be able to honestly admit that he or she is right, and that you were wrong is very powerful. Simply because not everyone can do this, and when you can, this gives you a powerful advantage. You will be able to learn much more much quicker compared to everyone else, because, while they can’t, you are able to consider any and all sources and identify the good things and use them to your advantage. And because you are open to alternative information and possibilities from anywhere, you are more likely to discover where you are wrong, and are more likely to act upon it which in turn helps to improve yourself much quicker and much more than anyone else. And the beautiful thing about this is that this benefits not only you, but everyone else around you.
Just think about.

A Speech of Dr A P J Abdul Kalam

Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production . We are number one in Remote sensing satellites. We are the second largest producer of wheat. We are the second largest producer of rice. Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit.. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters. I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck... But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.
In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T. Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology. Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation. Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.
Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is yours. YOU say that our government is inefficient. YOU say that our laws are too old. YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage. YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke, The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination. YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.
YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it? Take a person on his way to Singapore .. Give him a name - YOURS. Give him a face - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have
over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity... In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai .. YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah . YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds ( Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, 'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand . Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?
Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay , Mr. Tinaikar , had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels? In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan .. Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility. We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms. We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity. This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home.. Our excuse? 'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system? What does a system consist of ? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away. Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New Yorkbecomes insecure we run to England .. When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and
brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.
Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too..... I am echoing J. F.. Kennedy 's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians....
'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'
Lets do what India needs from us.
Thank you, Dr. Abdul Kalaam

Sri Lanka-Retired Hurt on 3/3

Can't Forgive them.........

Our revered Sri Lankan cricketers were attacked in Lahore, leaving our neighbours embarrassed, shocked and with our heads shaken in that impact.

My heart is sad today for Sri Lanka, the nation and its generosity at a time when no country would visit Pakistan. I salute your cricketers. I am ashamed. And I am sorry. I hope they will give the extreme level punishment to that barbarians.., but please accept at least one little apology from a Pakistani. Forget who did it or when or how , regardless of anything. I hope At least one Pakistani will apologize to them whole heartily..Why dont our neighbours learn from the past?? .

I just remembering that word from Rig Vega-"Ma Nishadha".

When being wrong.............

I absolutely hate being wrong. This probably comes as no surprise to you, and I’m sure most people would agree with me on this. However, unlike most people out there I am quick to admit to it when I am, or have been, wrong. In fact, I’m constantly looking for things that prove me wrong. I’m constantly challenging myself, everything I know and everything I believe in. I even try my best to help people prove to me that I’m wrong. This is the important difference between me and most people. I hate being wrong, but I like finding out about it.
Ithhing , there’s nothing wrong with not liking when you’re wrong, but you have to know how to deal with it. It shouldn’t make you take the wrong decision, namely to refuse to admit to it and not taking the steps to do something about it. Often people refuse to even consider the fact that they might be wrong, let alone admitting to it. Even though you may not like the fact that you might be wrong, you should be willing to take a look at it and be able to admit to it the moment you start to realize you’re wrong and take appropriate actions immediately. This benefits not only you, but everyone else around you. And most of the time the biggest benefits are for you, especially for the long term.
Just think about it, the sooner you can find out that you were wrong and the sooner you admit to it, the sooner you can start to learn from your mistakes and improve yourself and your situation. This is one of the most important reasons why I love finding out when I’m wrong and even prefer to know this as soon as possible. It’s why I keep myself open to any information, suggestions, remarks etc. from anyone and anywhere, so that I can challenge myself with it as soon as possible. When you’re able to do this the right way (you have to be able to be objectiveand hav nothng to lose), you improve and grow much faster as a person compared to people who can’t. Those who can’t, stick with bad ideas and assumptions much longer with all the disadvantages that come with that, often not only for themselves but sadly also for people around them.
There are many reasons why people can’t easily admit when they’re wrong or simply refuse to even consider it. Often it’s just ego or fear for the consequences. Admitting that you’re wrong might mean losing an argument, having to change your beliefs about something, far reaching changes in your life and even losing important things that you may have. So it might not be very easy to admit to being wrong, but the benefits of doing it are always greater because of the simple fact that if you continue on the wrong path, it will only continue to get worse because of the snowball effect it will have. If you continue to hold on to the wrong assumptions for example, every decision you make based on that will likely be wrong, and anything you do based on those decisions will likely also be wrong and on and on it goes.
So in summary: Absolutely hate being wrong, but for that reason, love finding out about it as soon as possible. The sooner you correct yourself, the sooner you can start to improve. And to be able to correct yourself requires that you first realize and then admit that you’re wrong. To be able to realize when you’re wrong requires that you keep an opn mind, be objective and willing to challenge yourself and your opinions at any time and hav no fear of losing anythng. And again, it’s not easy but for those who are able to do this the benefits are huge, especially for the long term.But me(a creature who never learnt from experience)!!!!!!!!!